


Emotion Side B

by imsorrycantrelate



Series: Emotion [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, and puppets, dirkjohn, lots of fluff, yes theyre all still trans and gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-12-25 13:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12037314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsorrycantrelate/pseuds/imsorrycantrelate
Summary: John and Dirk are dating...finally, but they haven't told anyone. Or have tried not telling anyone. Sometime they'll have to bring it up, but they do a good job of waiting as long as possible, distracting themselves with baking gone wrong and puppets.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (this is part 2, go [ here ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11900829/chapters/26885196) for part 1)

It was five years after the game had ended. Some loved their endgame, with their lovers and friends. Dirk and John were just getting used to it, it took long enough. They had spent months being friends, when in the midst of a breakdown, they realized how they felt for each other and now John realized he was hella gay. They had no idea what would happen. A standstill about to break. 

Dirk woke up finding his head on John’s chest. He jolted up as the memories of the night before came to him. The laptop was still near them, the screen gone black. John was snoring. Dirk put his glasses back on and slipped out of the bed. He saw it was the afternoon. He looked back at John one last time before leaving the house. He floated his way back home. He didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone, he was using it all to process what was going on. Someway, somehow, they had managed to ignore all their embarrassment at 4 in the morning and confess their love for each other. Dirk was doubting it had ever happened, as it had been a liminal time between dream and reality. 

He got to his home, then when he opened the door and saw Jake jump up from his couch looking concerned, he realized Jake existed. He realized anyone but himself and John existed. Fuck. 

Dirk half waved then started walking to his room. Jake stopped him, noticing how Dirk’s hair was a fucking mess. “What took you so long? You scared the Dickens out of me.” 

“I told you I was at John’s house.” 

“You didn’t answer any of my texts and you were gone for a whole day! I was asking you if he was okay and if you were okay. The others got curious too.” 

Dirk checked his texts and saw he had one from everyone of his friends except Jake, who sent about twenty. “Isn’t that none of y’all’s business?” 

Jake seemed offended, “I just wanted to make sure you two were okay, I haven’t seen John in weeks.” 

“Sorry Jake. He’s fine. We’re fine. We’re chill. It’s all good,” he walked away fast. Jake tried to catch up but Dirk’s stride was too long for him to catch up. Dirk ran into his room and grabbed clothes so that he could isolate himself in the shower for four hours. 

“Dirk, wait what happened? Dirk...Dirk...Please just tell me,” then Jake noticed the seams of Dirk’s shirt and realized it was inside out. “Was your shirt like that before?”

Dirk gave him a confused look before looking down at his shirt. “Oh, huh, must have put it on wrong. When I uh, had to take my binder off,” he came up with on the spot. 

“Oh, yes, of course, sorry, I’m being rather nosy,” Jake said, a slight bit of suspicion arising from him, which meant that Dirk was really fucking bad at lying considering Jake was the most oblivious fool to roam the planet. 

Dirk slammed the door shut and showered for four hours. When he got out, he checked his texts and only responded to John’s, as he expected the others to have already been informed by Jake. 

“Why’d you leave so early?” John had texted. 

Dirk immediately regretted his decision to leave, “It was 4 in the morning. I needed a shower and unfortunately for you I didn’t need any help.” 

“Why would you need help with the shower? Come back here dude we have so much to talk about!” 

Dirk let John’s stupidness slide. “Like what?” 

“I’m gay now.” 

“You’re right about that. Think you were gay even before now actually. I just need a break if that’s alright.” 

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Dirk got back up to his room and spaced out building his robots for a couple of hours before John texted him again, “Did you tell Jake?”  
“I haven’t told anyone yet, but if they come to their own conclusions I can’t stop them,” Dirk got up and grabbed his pile of puppets, put it on his bed, then jumped onto his bed. He covered himself in puppets like one would cover themselves with sand on the beach. He found one that still had a needle in it and poked his finger and started bleeding. If he died a justice death from infection from a needle stuck in a puppet, man he realized that was the main way he wanted to go. 

He found a hand puppet kermit replica he had tried to make that also had Jake’s glasses, which he now realized could be John’s glasses. He had originally made it to make fun of Jake. 

“Did you tell Jake?” said Kermit via Dirk’s voice as he made the puppet move his arms around wildly and speak in time with his voice. 

“Of course not, I’m not a fucking idiot, I’ve seen enough movies to know not to “out” someone or whatever the fuck,” Dirk responded to himself in a normal voice. 

“Mm, well, you have to tell them sometime,” said Kermit. 

“I think I fucking know that. You may be a comedy genius Kermit but doesn’t mean you fucking know anything alright?” 

“That’s harsh bro.” Kermit leaned closer to him, “You just can’t wait to tell them can you?” Dirk looked away from Kermit, aka his own hand. “Can you even imagine how they’ll feel? You turned that straight motherfucker gay. Dave’s going to freak out.” 

“Kermit please shut the hell up.” 

“Can’t wait to hold his hand and all that soffft gay shit can you? That PDA shit?” Dirk could barely hold the voice anymore. 

“Fucking, I’m doing it again. Old habits die hard,” He felt the lense of his glasses to confirm Hal hadn’t somehow gotten back there. He threw the hand puppet across the room and covered himself in blankets and puppets again so he would calm down. 

Dirk finally looked back at his phone. John had responded, “I was just thinking we should try to tell everyone at once, since I’m sure if one person finds out they’ll want to tell everyone else. It’s not like it’s a big deal anymore, I guess it was actually less likely I’d be straight than gay. You think we could go to one of those tea party things...together?” 

Dirk slapped himself in the face when he felt himself blush and kicked the wall, actually hurting himself. Something fell. 

“You alright in there Dirk?” he heard Jake ask from outside the room. 

“I’m fine Jake, just practicing swords again,” quickly made up Dirk. 

“I told you not to take your swords in there,” said Jake. 

“Well fuck your rules Jake I’m doing whatever I want,” Dirk looked at his texts again. 

“Thanks again for listening to my shitty problems. Your kisses are nice. You should come over and we can comfort each other sometime.” Dirk blushed again, once again leading to him slapping himself and kicking the wall again because the last thing he’d want to do with his time was learn from his mistakes. 

“Sure you alright?” Jake laughed under his breath. He had heard the entire conversation Dirk had had to himself, and if he wasn’t suspicious before, he sure was now. 

“I don’t fucking deserve this,” said Dirk under his breath both about Jake’s nosiness and John. “I’m fine Jake!” Jake finally left, leaving Dirk to lay back and stare out the window, his arms behind him, thinking of nothing for sometime. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed by the time he finished, then realized he had to respond to John. 

He couldn’t manage to think of much more than, “Yeah. Need a couple of days to work on something.” He didn’t quite know what that something was.

“Something? What is it?” Dirk could tell John was excited. 

“Something for you,” Dirk quickly made up but soon meant. “It’s a surprise.” 

“:O you shouldn’t have.”

“I haven’t made it yet so I think you mean you shouldn’t. And fuck you I’m going to do it anyway.” Truly, what Dirk needed was an excuse for isolation. But texting was easy enough. “You want to know some interesting facts about the muppets?”

“Do I?” 

Dirk chuckled and got out of his bed and knocked everything off his desk so he could start drawing a pattern. He stayed up until three fifty texting John and cutting out the pieces of his pattern. He kept on getting distracted by John’s attempts at flirting, even though Dirk wasn’t even good enough to try and flirt back. Jake passed by Dirk’s door, seeing the light underneath it. He shrugged, then heard Dirk laugh. Jake wasn’t used to hearing Dirk genuinely laugh in the middle of the night. On rare occasions cry, sometimes laugh at nothing, or himself, but Jake could tell. It was something different. 

“Dirk, I don’t think I left my bed all day,” admitted John over text. 

“That’s a mood. You need to finish your naruto mangas. Other than that, leave that bed warm for me alright? Might take a couple of days for me to finish this unless if I can pull this all nighter.” 

“Don’t worry, I don’t think I’ll move. I might have to sleep now though.” 

“Coward.” 

“Sorry, just can’t keep my eyes open.” 

“Maybe if you want to have your eyes opened you should watch some fucking Kill la Kill or some shit. C’mon man you can’t leave me hanging here by myself.”  
“i don’t e even now if i can fibdsh yhis txtt.,slddskdjfds.” Dirk assumed John had fallen asleep with his hands on the keyboard. Dirk put his phone to his side and immediately felt ten times more tired as he tried to thread a needle on his sewing machine. He licked the end of the thread, squinted his eyes to push it through, then passed out. 

Dirk woke up at around noon, early enough, and immediately started threading the needle again and working on his project. John still hadn’t awakened from what Dirk could tell. Dirk kept on going. At about 2, Jake walked in. 

“Dirk, you haven’t eaten in days, have you?” 

“Do we really need to Jake?” 

Jake blinked out for a second, “No, but you get my point. You haven’t left your room in a day. Why don’t you go outside and enjoy the beautiful fresh air. Practice on your swords outside and not dent your wall?” 

“I’m busy.” 

“You always say that.”

“It’s important this time.” 

“Guess what you also always say.” 

“I’m...making something. For...for...John.” Dirk hid his face and tried to cover his plans with his elbows. Jake moved his arms out of the way and looked at them. 

“A puppet? Oh, two puppets. Wait, blue and orange? Those are some interesting colors. Huh, those look like the glasses you put on that, what did you call him, Kermit handthing that you made me?”

Dirk’s face was heating up. He kicked the Kermit handthing with no glasses under the table and pushed Jake out of the room. “I need to focus.” Dirk didn’t look at his phone for the rest of the day and night, too tired to notice when it buzzed. He passed out while working again, then the next morning, checked his phone. All John had sent him was a simple hey at about 11 at night. Or wait. Dirk had to scroll down a little. Dirk blushed so hard he thought he was having a stroke. John had sent ily at about 2 in the morning. He had said nothing else. 

“I’m such a fucking asshole.” He had been thinking about how embarrassed he had been when Jake had seen him, then how his friends would react about this stupid shit, his brother. He was normally chill about this shit. Or he was back when the only man he knew was Jake English. He’d overthought everything and was driving the relationship into the ground. It’d only been two days. 

“Same here bro.” 

John woke up from his fourth nap that night. Or he guessed it was morning now because light was peeking out of his blinds. He wiped off his drool and went to get breakfast before he checked his messages. A good, hearty meal of a whole apple he could only get halfway through, a piece of plain sliced bread, and some water. He checked his messages. 

“Same here bro,” then, “okay maybe I didn’t phrase that correctly I meant like I also, I agree I mean, fucking shit. I mean like damn dude same. I mean fucking shit. I meant I like you the same way you like me. Yeah. Man, bro I just fucking love you. I can’t wait to get this shit done and see you. Don’t know why I did this to myself.” Then immediately after, “I did not mean to send that please ignore the previous text.” And then, “I love you too.” 

John had to stop eating for a second. He had forgotten he had sent that text to Dirk, late at night, worried he’d forgotten about him. John had tried to read Naruto, then failed, staring out his window and listening to music the whole time instead. He started smiling wildly, then held himself and kicked his feet, falling backwards onto his bed. He started laughing and stayed there for a while. Then he responded, “When do you think this thing will be ready?” 

Dirk didn’t take long to respond, “One more day. Promise. Then we can plan how we’re going to tell the others.” 

John felt unsettled again. For a second, he had forgotten he’d have to do that. He had been worried about it for a while, but didn’t like bringing it up. He knew it wouldn’t be a big deal, but he still worried. But it also sounded like fun, in a way. He had found a new part of himself. He might as well show it off. Not that their relationship being public would mean they wouldn’t have enough time alone, either apart or together. They both still could barely leave the house. “Sure, we just got to take it slow.” 

“Right dude. Oh, you want to know some facts about early generation gaming consoles?” 

“:OOO please.” 

They kept on texting. At about midnight, Dirk had finally gotten his work to look almost like something he could be proud of. He rubbed his pin poked fingers on his pants and wished his gloves had fingers for once. He cleaned about half of what he was doing, then didn’t care about the rest. He wanted to show it to John. “John, I finished the things.” 

“Can I see?!!” 

“I’m going to come over and show you, you got to wait.” 

“I can’t. I might use my teleporty powers just so I can see what you made.”


	2. Chapter 2

Dirk carried the puppets in a bag normally meant for swords. He passed by Jake. 

“Well, seems you’re out and about.” 

“Yeah, I finished what I’d been working on.” 

“Can I see it?” 

Dirk shrugged, “Can you?” 

“Can you show it to me? You’ve been working on it for 3 days straight. It’s midnight Dirk. Please.” Jake yawned, then caught Dirk off guard by quickly snatching the bag and opening it. He immediately smiled when he saw them, “You made these?” 

“No I didn’t dipshit I just locked myself in my room while the mail got delivered. Yeah I made them.” 

Jake patted Dirk on the back, “I’m glad you were able to find a good pal, Dirk.” 

“Yes...pal.” 

“A nice chum to brighten your day, lift your spirits. Better than how I did back when…” 

“Pal. Friend. You missed the key part. Friends. We’re friends. Not sure why you’re bringing up the past like that.” 

“Don’t worry Dirk I won’t tell anyone. Took me until just now to realize it.” 

“Realize what Jake? Are you messing with me? Didn’t think you were smart enough to do that.” 

“Watch it. Now go have fun.” Jake patted Dirk on the back again before heading back to his room. 

“Now go have fun,” Dirk grumbled in a mocking british accent that sucked, which means he sounded just like Jake. “Go have fun doing what Jake? It’s all innocent, friendly fucking friend stuff from what you should know.” Dirk wasn’t sure why he was embarrassed about it. He thought John would be the one to deal with that stupid shit. This was one of the few times he felt like hiding his attraction to a man. Not that he’d fallen for real people that many times. 

“Uhh, you okay Dirk?” he heard near him. He looked to his side, then down at his feet. Gcat Tavros was lying on the floor, playing with a ball of yarn. 

“No, I’m dating John Egbert. Don’t tell anyone,” he said to get it out of his system. 

“What the fuck?” Tavros said as Dirk slammed the door when he left. He floated up to Jake’s room. “Hey, uh, you hear Dirk’s dating John? Weird, huh? Who’d want to date that shit? Oh, I think he told me not to tell anyone, woops. Uh, sorry Dirk.” 

“Wait, they are?! I thought they were just best friends?!” 

Dirk floated his way over to John’s house, hoping not to run into any other awkward encounters. He knew Tavros didn’t know anyone other than Jake, who Dirk was sure knew already. He then remembered that it was midnight, and not just the tint of his glasses, that was making it dark, and that no one else would be awake. He guessed he had woken up Tavros from his cat nap. Dirk got to the house and texted that he was there as he knocked on the door. John immediately opened the door and gave Dirk a bear hug. Dirk was taken by surprise but definitely wasn’t upset by it. He hugged John back as best as he could. 

“Missed you,” said John. “I was worried, that like…” 

“You disappeared off the map completely for two weeks dude, it was my turn.” 

“I was worried... it’s stupid.” 

“No it’s not, what were you worried about?” 

“Worried you didn’t like me anymore...I know it’s stupid but I was worried that I came off too strong and I don’t know. I don’t know how relationships work maybe I’m not actually ready for one. It’s like, wow, you help make a universe and yet you still can’t talk to people.” 

“Don’t worry man, happens to all of us. Don’t worry about coming off to strong. Living with Jake, I’ve had years of having to hear his obviously gay subtext speech that was actually just platonic.” John laughed, calming Dirk down. “Also he might know about us now. I didn’t mean to tell anyone, sorry bro.” He pretended like Tavros didn’t exist. 

“It’s okay.” He took in a long breath as they stepped inside of the house, “We were going to have to tell people eventually. C’mon, show me what you made!” He hopped onto the couch. Dirk mentally prepared himself. He gave John the bag. John zipped it open, his eyes lighting up as he took out the puppet versions of Dirk and John. John started moving them around, seeing how the felt puppets worked. Dirk had obviously put a lot of work into them. 

Dirk nervously moved his foot up and down, twiddling his fingers. “You uh, you like them?” John didn’t immediately respond so he continued, “I know, they’re kind of weird. I just, I needed some alone time and remembered that I had all this felt to use...wanted to do something special. I know, yeah, they’re kind of dumb. Not worth three almost sleepless nights.” 

“Are you kidding me? These are amazing. Look at them! It’s me! It’s you! I love them.” John put an arm around Dirk and pulled himself closer as he had the puppet of Dirk in his other hand. “My name’s Dirk,” said John, sucking at ventriloquy as he tried to copy Dirk’s voice while moving the puppet, “and I spent three days to make the most amazing present ever. Fuck, I sure am amazing but hate myself still for some reason. John’s never going to beat me at getting the best presents.” John started playing with the other one that was a replica of him, “He’s right,” he said in a high voice even though he was imitating himself. The John puppet playfully bit Dirk’s nose. 

“Hey,” Dirk said, his voice changed from the fact he couldn’t breathe through his nose, “I think I get the point.” 

“Do you?” John put his puppeting arm around Dirk and gave him a small kiss on the lips. “I love them.” 

“Thanks, I love-” he stopped himself again. 

“You?” John kissed him again, slightly harder this time. 

They both chuckled. “You’re acting like either of us could say it out loud. I bet you couldn’t have said that shit without me saying the I love part.” 

“I love what Dirk?” John kissed Dirk on the cheek, moving closer to him. 

Dirk took the John puppet that was near him. He said in a high pitched voice, “I love you, that’s what I was trying to say? And Dirk too?” 

John laughed, putting back on the Dirk puppet and speaking through it, “Of course, I love you. You should have gotten that idea by now John.” 

“Damn straight. Only straight thing about us.” Dirk pulled John’s head closer, and kissed him twice as hard as John had. They started furiously making out on the couch, putting the puppets to the side so they could hold each other. After a few minutes of feeling their tongues slide over each other and biting lips, they finally calmed the fuck down. 

“Wow that was gay.” 

“Don’t need to tell me twice. I need some fucking water dude.” 

“You thirsty?” 

“Don’t say it like that. Yes, you got some water in this shithole? Took me weeks to find last time.” 

“Oh...yeah I guess I still,” John got quiet for a second, “Still haven’t done that huh?” 

“Come on, get up asshat,” Dirk pulled John off the bed, almost pulling his own arm out of it's socket. 

John wobbled and almost fell on Dirk when he got up, “Sorry, haven’t really been standing around lately.”


	3. Chapter 3

Dirk nodded, “So uh, what have you been doing lately? Other than like wait for me to fucking show up,” he said as they walked into the kitchen. If it wasn’t as equally messy as last time Dirk had gone in, it was even more so. “Where are all the fucking cups?” He was scavenging the drawers and sink, barely finding any plates, cups or generally anything used to make food that wasn’t broken or covered in food. 

“My room. Also I’ve finally been messaging people back, like Dave.” 

“He ask about me yet?” Dirk cleaned all the cups he could and put them away, forgetting to keep one for himself. 

“No, fortunately. I wanted to tell him together, because I feel like if I just text him about it the consequences won’t feel real, you get what I’m saying?” 

Dirk took a while to respond as he cleaned John’s plates, not letting himself talk until everything was fucking clean. “Sorry, just standing in this place makes my brain process slow down completely because no offense but this room is disgusting. Like look at this shit. It’s been lying here for weeks.” 

“Dirk look me in the eyes and say the part of the house you control is any better.” 

“Look I might not have high standards but I have some.” 

“You’re lying. You’re dating me.” 

“And who’s fault is that? Your non-existent standards?” Dirk rubbed his hands on his shirt until the feeling of dish soap got off his fingers. “Just trying to help.” 

John laughed, “I know, thanks. I clean here occasionally but usually I only clean like a plate. One plate.” 

“Don’t overestimate me I’ve already gone...how many did I clean? Five? Yeah I’m five plates over the maximum amount of work I can output in one day, therefore, I can’t move for...a month. Rough estimation. Might be longer.” 

“That’s fine, I can carry you.” John laughed when he saw Dirk blush slightly. John hugged Dirk, lifting Dirk a few inches off the floor, John squishing his face against Dirk. “Wow, your standards are low.” 

“Stop distracting me, I might forget this kitchen is what happens when you leave a blender on high for 3 years and open it while it's still going...I’d continue this analogy but I think you get the point.” 

John put Dirk back down. “It’s not THAT bad Dirk.” He opened a cupboard, catching the cover in his hand as he opened it. “We’re not renovating my kitchen.” 

“Why not, you have a hammer, I’ve got swords and a couple of screws I’m sure it’s possible. You could at least bring down all the shit in your bedroom.”

“Fine,” John scoffed. He floated up his room as Dirk looked through the drawers, realizing he did want to eat food, not because he could be hungry but because he was in a snacking mood. He found baking ingredients, pans, and soda. Lots of soda. And beer. And generally all food that would have made John die in his early 20’s had he been mortal. And a fuck ton of candy, Dirk hoping none of it was illegal alien ecstasy. 

John came back down, floating all of the plates and cups and silverware in the air above him. He put them all in the sink, filling it past its limit. “I wouldn’t eat that candy Dirk that’s like a couple of years old.” 

“Coward. It’s not like it’ll kill us.” He pops some candies into his mouth. 

“Actually Dirk it’s justice if you die because I warned you. And if you throw up do it somewhere else.” 

“You think we could use up this shit? Like make something like Jane and Roxy and Calliope do?” 

“I mean...I haven’t baked anything in a long time. And I’m not as great as Jane. Also I can’t really...eat a cake without thinking about…” John cut off his thought, shrugging, knowing Dirk would know what he was referring to. 

“Look we’re either getting baked or baking it’s your choice John. Say no to drugs like a pussy or take a hit.” 

“What the fuck are you saying?” 

“This relationship won’t work if you don’t get my weed jokes John.” 

“Dirk, you can put weed into things. We could do both.” 

Dirk was silent for a moment. “Shit...you’re right. I’m the one who’s the fool. I left the dank kush at home sadly.” 

“We could get it.” 

“I know you’re just trying to avoid doing anything productive John. We can leave the weed for next time.” 

“Oh yeah, there’s going to be a next time. Forgot time existed there for a second.” 

“It doesn’t, at least not in its linear form. Or that’s what Dave says. I’m just repeating the bullshit he says. Let’s just fucking bake I don’t know fucking...cookies or some shit.” 

“You know what’d be easier?” John said drowsily. He swayed a bit, “If we just didn’t.” 

“Wow, John you didn’t tell me you were already high. Also not to guilt trip you or anything, but I did just spend multiple days making puppets for you so I should be the one complaining as you make me bake with you.” 

“Was one kiss not enough?” John put a hand on Dirk’s face and started giving him small kisses on the neck. 

“You’re drunk aren’t you? Must be drunk off your ass if you think that will work. You find some fermented wheat in your bedroom? Let’s make some cookies dipshit.”   
John sighed, “Fine, those aren’t too bad. Rollout or not.” 

“Fuck yeah rollout I want to make some shapes with this shit. I can eat swords, eat my enemies, eat my friends, wait.” 

John found an old stained and flour covered paper from behind the microwave. “Fell out of the old recipe book. Let’s see. Oh yeah there’s aprons here.” John put one on and gave one to Dirk. “Can you tie this?” 

Dirk was struggling to get his tied around, but managed to by contorting his arms. He tied John’s apron, accidentally staring down at John’s ass for too many seconds too long. 

John started gathering the ingredients. Dirk pointing out the multiple times where he had counted wrong. Dirk had to find the sugar in the spices cabinet and when John asked for some water, couldn’t turn the faucet on. He looked for some bottled water, then after filling the tablespoon with vinegar, decided not to tell him. What did vinegar taste like again? 

As Dirk did this, John noticed how much more salt he had than sugar. He then realized he had put in salt instead of sugar. He kept on going like nothing happened as Dirk put in the water. John cracked some eggs. 

“Isn’t this technically cannibalism because your name is-” 

“Dirk do you ever appreciate just spending time like not cracking yolks?” 

“Hey I think these cookies need some more water,” Dirk went back and got more vinegar. “Fuck you.” 

John laughed at Dirk’s petty antics that he didn’t quite understand the context of, then took the dough out and lay it on the table. “You want to try and knead it?”

“Aren’t they cookies? Do you really have to do this shit?” 

“I lost the rolling pin so yeah.” 

“Fine,” he grumbled, taking his gloves off. He tried kneading the dough but didn’t have the strength or skill to do it well. “I don’t think I’m doing this right.” He felt the vinegar burn his fingers a little. 

John laughed, like he was expecting it. “I can show you how. You’re doing it wrong.” Instead of pushing Dirk out of the way, John stood right behind Dirk, his shoulders collapsing around Dirk. He put his arms on Dirk’s and held Dirk’s hands so he could motion them where to go. Dirk tried his hardest to pay attention to what he was doing. 

“I think that’s enough John. I appreciate the help.” 

“You sure?” 

“John we’re making cookies don’t get distracted,” he said also to himself. 

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, so uh, since it’s rolled out we got to start like cutting it and shit. Yeah. With like well I don’t really have any cookie cutters but like a knife?” 

“On it.” Dirk summoned a katana and tried to cut into the dough, almost cutting the table in half.

“Smaller. Please if you’re going to use a knife use a kitchen one.” 

“They’re all dirty, fuck you.” He cleaned a knife and started cutting into the dough, making rough shapes that he convinced John were all his friends. “See, this is me.” He tried to lift his cookie off the table and onto the sheet, but the head fell off in the process. “Shit. Not again.” He pointed at a swirly blob. “That’s you.” He pointed at some pointy shapes, “Dave and Karkat,” a skull, “Rose,” a shitty attempt at a chainsaw, “Kanaya,” a cat, “Roxy,” he made the shape of a jammie dodger, “Jake,” a cake, “Jane,” and a swirl, “Calliope.” 

“There’s still enough room for me to put one,” said John. He cut out Kamina glasses. “Your best bro, Hal.” 

“Thanks for reminding me John.” They put the cookies in the oven, then started cleaning and by cleaning they were just filling the bowls with water and sticking everything inside them. 

But before they put the dough under, “Hey Dirk you want to try the cookie dough?” 

“Isn’t that how you get salmonella?” Dirk quickly refuted. He still felt the vinegar on his hands.

“We can’t die.” 

“Doesn’t mean I want salmonella. Why don’t you have some then if you’re going to be like that.” 

“Well I don’t want to have salmonella if you don’t get to experience it with me.” They finished “cleaning” everything, then headed out of the kitchen to wait. “I think we just made that room even more of a mess.

“I know we have.” 

“So what should we do while we wait?” John asked rhetorically, as Dirk was already completely leaning on John and reaching out to kiss him. “Maybe a fifteen minute video, or we could discuss life or.” 

“Shut the hell up you’re enjoying this aren’t you? Just leaving me hanging like this?” John then denied his accusation by kissing Dirk on the lips and soon they were making out, even as the alarm rang, and 5 or so minutes after that. When John almost fell off the couch he had a chance to hear the alarm and sniff the air. 

“Shit, shit.” They got up and John took the cookies out, all burnt brown on the side. “Not the worst I guess.” They waited a bit for them to cool off and then John was the first to offer, “You want to try one? Guest gets first choice.” 

“Wow, what outdated manners, also you should try it, you did most of the work.” 

“No you should.” 

“Fine, look I accidentally put vinegar in them,” Dirk admitted. 

John laughed. “And you were going to make me eat them?” 

“I’ll eat one if it gets that smug look off your face it’s probably not even that bad.” Dirk put a whole cookie in his mouth, John holding back his chuckles. Dirk was fine until he moved his mouth once. “What the fuck!” He shouted as he spat it out. “Was that salt?” He had to rub off the taste from his tongue. John was rolling in the air laughing. “It’s not that funny.” Dirk had to dunk his tongue in water before it was okay. “Fuck you.” John was still laughing. Then an idea appeared in his mind. “Dude you got any frosting?” 

John looked at him with confusion. “Yeah…? Why?” 

Dirk found it quickly, then put it on a cookie and ate it whole. “Not bad. Saltines taste great with frosting.” John looked at him with disgust. “I’m not joking, have some.” He clumped some frosting onto a cookie and pushed it into John’s mouth. 

“I’m mad that I don’t hate this.” John got more frosting and ate another one. “Is this how we die?” 

“I don’t know about you but combined with that candy I had earlier it’s probably the end for me. Justice will be served,” Dirk ate another one. They just kept on eating them as they talked, entranced by their both disgusting and delicious taste. “Wait.” He took some of the candy and put it on top of the frosting of the next cookie. He shoved it into his mouth, “This is the worst mistake I’ve ever made. And I’ve made some fucking mistakes.” He did it again. 

“Fine maybe I’ll try one.” John did it, gagged, then kept on eating it. “That sure is something.” John ate four more. Dirk ate whatever was remaining. 

“I guess you could say this was a success.”

“This was a literal opposite of a success. Those were the worst things I’d ever eaten.” 

“I haven’t eaten in like years so maybe my standards are low. Not like I’ve ever lived the lavish lifestyle of cookies with sugar in them or non-expired candy.”

“I can’t believe you put fucking vinegar in them.” 

“It wasn’t that bad.” Dirk put the cookie sheets in the sink, then they left the kitchen, the mess remaining. “What should we do now?” 

“I don’t know, I think those cookies fucked up my bloodstream, I think I need to sleep.”

“Sure, I can help.” 

“No Dirk I’m serious I need to sleep-” 

“What the fuck were you thinking I was just going to like-” 

“What other ways are there of interpreting that Dirk I might be oblivious but not that much. What did you mean then Dirk, that you were going to sing me a lullaby? Fuck.” John saw Dirk immediately dash for the puppets. 

“I don’t know John maybe I was,” Dirk said through the puppet of himself, making his voice high and graty. “Want me to read you Goodnight Moon, or sing for you? My voice isn’t all that great but I can try,” he said as Puppet Dirk petted John’s arm. Dirk coughed.

“Please no. Not in that voice. Dirk no.”

“ROCK-A-BYE-” Dirk shouted in the most annoying high pitched voice he could manage, as John stuffed the puppet into Dirk’s mouth to get him to shut up. “That’s not very nice John. Am I going to have to sing to you about how to treat others?” Puppet Dirk shook his finger disapprovingly. 

“Dirk please spare me from this. I just ate vinegar salt cookies with expired candy and attempted to clean my kitchen I don’t need this.” He grabbed the puppet version of himself. “Please? Can we just sleep in my room? I might have only been awake for a couple of hours but I’m feeling it.” Puppet John hugged Puppet Dirk so that real John and Dirk were holding hands. 

“Fine, I’ll stop being a shit,” he said in his normal voice. Puppet Dirk kissed Puppet John, then Dirk and John held hands and walked upstairs. They snuggled up in the blankets and Dirk started watching videos on his phone, John putting his head on Dirk’s shoulder so he could see. “Thought you were trying to sleep?” 

“This counts. This is usually how I sleep.” 

“Same here.” John hung onto Dirk and he would occasionally drift to sleep but would wake up again. After a few hours, Dirk had to ask, “So...when are we telling them? And how?” 

“Told Dave to set up a tea party thing for us to all hangout. We have a week to prepare ourselves. And I don’t know. I guess if we hold hands that’s gay right?”   
“What are you going to say when Dave asks? Shit, what am I going to do when Dave asks?” 

“I have no clue man, he’s the last person I let myself think about. He’s dating Karkat though so maybe it won’t be so bad. Just kind of awkward. Can’t let on that I had a crush on him.”

Dirk nodded, then realized what he had said, “What did you just say?” 

“Nothing dude I didn’t-I didn’t say anything,” he blushed furiously. 

“No, I think I just heard you say something about the little baby version of my brother who is technically my age exactly because of time shit but whatever, I still heard you say something about him. You liked him?” John was quiet. Dirk started to get worried, “No it’s fine if you did I was just curious-” 

“I did. I just didn’t realize it. I always just thought of us as best friends but...well...some more intimate thoughts came to mind occasionally,” John was scratching his head and his voice was shaking, “I’m not even sure why I’m admitting this to you right now, did we like, get high before we came here and I forgot?” 

“John I don’t think that’s how getting high works, even if the last time I did I forgot completely, I’m fairly sure you’d know if we were high. It’s okay man, it’s normal.” Dirk sighed, “Especially when it’s the only guy you know.” 

“Jake…I don’t think you told me the whole story. You don’t need to if you don’t want.” 

“Shit happened. I fucking annihilated our relationship and our friendship for a while, took years before shit was normal again. I’m such a fucking failure,” his breath shook. Dirk had moved away, but John pulled him back close again and put Dirk’s head in his chest. He stroked the back of Dirk’s head. 

After some silence, John spoke up, “It’s okay, I’m sorry that happened. You might have made some mistakes but now you’re better from them right?” He gave him a soft kiss on the forehead, “Whatever happened doesn’t seem to be going on between us at least.” 

Dirk folded his legs and nuzzled his cheek into John’s chest. “Let’s keep it that way.”


	4. Chapter 4

A couple of days passed by before Jake texted John, “Where’s Dirk? Is he still there?” 

“Yeah he’s fucking showering it's taking him hours.” John then remembered when he asked what Dirk would need help in the shower for a few days ago and lingered his thoughts on this one memory he knew he could never reverse. 

“Make sure to shut down the water before he uses up all of Earth C’s water supply.” 

“Will do.” 

For once, John wasn’t wearing his god-tier costume and was instead pantless, just with his slimer boxers and slimer shirt. After an hour of Dirk in the shower, he had to take off his clothes and start cleaning off at least a couple of things in his room. He didn’t get very far, but atleast he tried. 

John saw there was a message board on pesterchum. It was run by Karkat. 

“HEY LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKS WE GOT AN EVENT GOING ON AND I’M EXPECTING ALL OF YOU HERE, ALL OF YOU! YOU, YOU, AND EVEN YOU! NO QUESTIONS YOU GOT THAT? OKAY SO IN A COUPLE OF DAYS THE TWO LAZY ASSHOLE SHIT FUCKS WE ALL HATE, THAT PIECE OF SHIT JOHN EGBERT AND THE OTHER ONE THAT DAVE IS RELATED TO, WILL *FIINAAALLLYY* SHOW UP TO A TEA PARTY FOR ONCE. YEAH, YOU HEARD IT, THOSE DIPSHITS.”

There were many responses to the message and Karkat argued with them, constantly reminding them the rules of the message board. 

“still don’t even know what it’s for. maybe they made a robot and they want to show it off,” messaged Dave. John had forgotten about those. It’d been awhile since he left his home. 

“Or they just want to visit, which is good. Definitely means their mental health is improving somewhat. Getting them to talk was a good idea after all,” responded Rose. 

Karkat, “DON’T FUCKING COMMENT ON MY MESSAGE BOARD WHY IS IT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?” He blocked them, then unblocked Dave. Then blocked him again.  
Kanaya added to the message board, “I See You’ve Calmed Down Over The Years. An Unblock?” Karkat blocked her. 

John was glad that Karkat was trying to get as many people to come to the thing, but was still intimidated by the notion that ALL of his friends could be there. Might as well get it done all at once. It’s not like it’d be that big of a surprise anyway right? He steadied his breathing as he rubbed his stomach under his shirt. Yeah...it would be okay. Especially with Dirk by his side. 

Then he realized the shower had been turned off. He sat up as he expected Dirk. Dirk walked in, wearing nothing but puppet boxers and his shades. John couldn’t help but blush as Dirk threw his old clothes on the floor and moved his wet hair out of his face. It was dripping all over the floor but neither of them gave a shit. Dirk also managed to put on his gloves instead of pants or a shirt. He sat next to John on his bed, getting it wet with shower water. 

“Grow up,” Dirk said as he noticed John blushing, even though he was hiding his own face with his hand. “I forgot my fucking clothes and don’t want to get those wet.” 

“Sure you did,” said John, smirking. 

Dirk swatted at John, who was laughing hysterically, “If I’d wanted to fuck I would have just asked you fucking dick.” John was still laughing, which made Dirk laugh too. “Also I’m not the only fucking one who decided pants were optional accessories, the fuck is up with you? You’ve got no excuse.” 

John looked down at his slimer underwear. “I can explain-” 

“John you can never fully explain why you are wearing Slimer underwear. I’ve already learned from many reputable sources about your love of Ghostbusters that borders fetishization but this is one step too far and I will continue to refuse participating in your slime kink, especially one that directly relates to the character Slimer.” 

Now John was swatting at Dirk, “Shut up,” he said while laughing. He glanced around Dirk’s body again, noticing his partially defined muscles and his scars, and also his amazing tattoo. 

Dirk seemed to notice John looking down at him, “Hey, my eyes are up here.” He said it as if he wasn’t looking down at John’s hairy legs and the strip of stomach showing from underneath his shirt. John snickered and put his arms around Dirk’s shoulders. He kissed Dirk’s neck, making Dirk flustered, then inched his hand towards Dirk’s stomach. As Dirk was distracted, he lunged his hand into Dirk’s abs and started tickling him. 

“You motherfucking bitch fuck whore!” Dirk yelled, trying to cough instead of laugh to make sure John wouldn’t win this fight. Dirk was trying to slap away John’s arms, kicking his feet back and forth as John tried his hardest to tickle him, which was a harder task than John would have thought. “Stop, stop, I’m running out of breath.” John stopped, but was still laughing. Dirk made sure John didn’t see the tear in his eye from all his silent, breathy laughing. 

Dirk put his head on John’s shoulder, smiling a little, which made John smile more. “You ready for tomorrow…b-b-b-” 

“You trying to beatbox?” 

Dirk made a bunch of indistinguishable noises that John guessed was supposed to be beatboxing. “Yes. Babe.” 

“The fuck did you just say?” John said, feeling a rush of emotion. 

“Babe. Babe like. Babe like the motherfucking pig from that movie about a pig named Babe who like herded dogs or some shit I don’t remember. As we all know it's just a rip-off of Disney’s Gordy anyway, a true masterpiece, so will I truly give a fuck about Gordy’s over-hyped descendant? Only time will tell.” He saw how flustered John was getting and continued. He put his hands on John’s hips, pulling himself closer. He whispered into John’s ear, “Or I could call you something dumber like fucking sugartits or something,” that made John laugh, even if he was still flustered. Dirk was smiling and lifted John’s shirt, and as he reached his lips towards John’s neck, he put his hands on John’s sides. Then in a sudden act of betrayal, he started tickling John just like John had done to Dirk. 

John was laughing more at the surprise than the attack itself, falling back and laughing so hard he snorted. “You fucking cheater!” 

“You call it cheating, I call it winning. Not only was I able to properly execute my strategy of distracting you long enough to attack from the front, but was able to usurp the obvious advantage you have of wearing a shirt right now.” 

“It’s not my fault you weren’t wearing one. It was too easy.” He sat back up.

“Yes, so I actually put effort into this so you should be congratulating me,” Dirk said. 

John put his arms around Dirk and his head on his shoulder, “Congratulations then.” 

“John we’re meeting the others tomorrow. You ready for this shit?” Dirk broke the pleasant silence with. 

“Tomorrow?” John said in surprise. His foot was shaking. Then the rest of his body. “Yeah, I’m ready. You?” John rolling his thumbs around each other, breathing harder, shakier. 

“John are you okay?” asked Dirk. John got out of the bed and started pacing faster and faster. He was breathing like he was in the middle of a battle. He scratched his neck. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine...Dirk. I’m f-fuck,” his breath was cut short and Dirk jumped out of the bed as John slammed his fists against his bedroom door. John fell to the floor. Dirk kneeled next to him and held John’s hand. 

“It’s okay, I’m right here. Whatever’s going on in there isn’t going on out here. My loser ass is still in your home and everything’s going to be okay. Alright?” 

“Sorry I just, I just, I thought of everyone seeing us and that was okay, but then I thought of worse stuff and my-”

Dirk put his head on John’s chest and breathed steadily, “Breathe like I do.” John did so. Or attempted to do it better than Dirk was doing, which was horribly.

“I just started remembering the shit we’ve been through...all that blood.” Then John started hyperventilating as his eyes welled up. Dirk didn’t know what to do at this point, but continued to act calmly. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay, it’s in the past now.” Dirk looked at John in the eyes and pet John’s hair. John breathed normally again as the tears fell. After a few more minutes of shaky breathing, he got up. 

“I’m okay now.” 

“Are you sure you want to tell everyone tomorrow? We could always wait. Don’t feel like I’m pressuring you into this.”

“No, no, I was the one who wanted to do this and I’m going to do it. The longer the wait the worse I’ll feel. Trust me.”

“I trust you man. Just making sure you’re okay. We’ll have to dress decent you know?” 

“I’m just wearing my godtier outfit,” John was smiling again.

“Yeah I probably will too.” They were sitting on the bed again, Dirk checking his phone to look for downloaded memes he could show John to cheer him up some more. “We could watch another anime to get your mind off things.” He grabbed John’s laptop and started browsing on it. “You never got a chance to see Ghost Stories did you? Or any of those abridged series. You’d probably think they’re funny as fuck.” He stopped typing and glanced at John, “You alright?” John had a stupid grin on his face that was contagious. 

“Thanks for helping me.”

“No problem, least I could do. You need anything else?” 

“I think I’m ready for tomorrow.” He leaned into Dirk, his lips right next to the back of Dirk’s neck. “Thanks again. Thank you for everything.” He gave him the first of many soft kisses on the neck. “I love you,” he said before another wave of kissing. 

Dirk smiled for once. “I love you.” It made John even happier, and soon John was burying Dirk in a pile of kisses.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i recommend reading this while listening to carly rae jepsen, just for some extra emotion ;)

The next day, John and Dirk were preparing themselves for a day of either absolute catastrophe or catharsis, or both. They were both wearing their god tier outfits because they thought might as well, even if Dirk had to endure all the jokes John made about his poofy shorts. And even after all of John’s attempts at getting Dirk to stay home with him and make out, followed by Dirk not wanting to go either but them sighing and realizing they had to anyway. 

So eventually, a very stressed eventually, they ended up where they needed to be, more than fashionably late. Dave and Karkat were holding hands, entering Rose and Kanaya’s home. John’s hand slipped out of Dirk’s as soon as he caught eye of Dave. Dirk looked away from John when he did. John let out a breath, reaching out for Dirk’s hand again, but not having the strength to lock hands again.

Jade saw them and waved and gave John a hug. “You guys doing okay?” 

“Yeah…” 

“That’s good! You seem a lot better John, than when I last saw you anyway. And Dirk, well I guess I wouldn’t know but you probably seem better.” She shrugged and punched Dirk in the shoulder, then ran into the home to hug everyone else. 

When they got inside, Rose and Kanaya greeted them. “It sure has been a while, hasn’t it?” asked Rose. 

John sighed, “Yes, yes it has.” 

“How have you and Dirk been getting along? We haven’t heard much these past few weeks.” 

“Good, good,” said Dirk. Rose noticed how they stood close together but made no comment. Kanaya noticed too and smirked. 

“I’m glad you two found each other as friends, it is lonely on this planet, isn’t it?” she asked. 

“Yes, friends,” said Dirk, thinking ugh not this shit again. “Friends are great. Speaking of, where’s Roxy? And Jane? And Jake?” 

“They got here on time. 20 minutes ago.” 

“Aw man, we got here too early Dirk we should have come 2 hours later,” said John. 

“Speak for yourself we should have showed up 2 weeks from now.” 

They moved farther into the party, finding Roxy, Jane and Calliope talking together. “Dirk! Hey! Haven’t seen you in a while what’s going on, c’mere gimme a hug.” Roxy walked up to Dirk and gave him the biggest hug she could manage, then the same with John. “I haven’t seen you either John! You’ve been missing so much, we’ve been working on so many things with our kingdom and Jane’s business and ugh there’s so much to catch up on.” 

Jane shook their hands respectively. “It’s nice to see you two out and about again.” 

Calliope meekly waved, but they shook her hand anyway. She giggled, “I haven’t really had the chance to talk to you guys in person, but it’s nice to see you.” She smiled at them and John couldn’t help but smile back. Even Dirk couldn’t help but perk up his usually expressionless lips. She hid her hands behind her back again as Roxy gave her a peck on the cheek. Jane hugged Callie. “Stop, we’re supposed to be paying attention to other people, not just me,” Callie giggled. 

“Well, we’re going to go around and say hi to everyone so talk to you soon,” said Dirk as they began to walk away. 

“Same here,” Roxy smiled.

They walked farther in and found Jake talking to Tavros. Jake was in a tux, while Tavros was not because he was a sprite so he was just being his regular sprite self. Jake shook Dirk and John’s hands while Tavros was sniffling and rubbing his nose. “Hello ol’ chaps, it is grand to see that you are outside, enjoying the beautiful, healthy sunshine don’t you think Tavmeister?” 

Tavros sniffled, “Yeah, uh, I guess. Yeah.” 

“Thanks, Tavros. Glad to see you no longer hate me.” 

“Oh uh, don’t worry. I still don’t like you. But I uh, wouldn’t say I hated you. What uhh the fuck dude? I wasn’t into you like that.” 

John laughed, “Fuck, I forgot about the alien love system.” 

“So, uh, have I for the most part but I was making sure you weren’t implying anything John.” 

“Tavros you’re the one making this weird.” 

“No, I’m uh, not. Fuck you.” 

Dirk coughed and said, “Is this alien style flirting can I take a try and say go fuck yourself?” John laughed and Tavros crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. 

Jake stepped between them. “So what have you two been up to?” 

“Sleeping,” answered John. Jake waited for him to elaborate but he never did. 

“Hehe, wow, sounds romantic,” Tavros mumbled. John raised an eyebrow and Dirk pulled him away. 

“Dirk? He was just joking right? He doesn’t know right?” Right Dirk?” Dirk didn’t answer his question until John almost tripped him over. 

“Okay, look,” Dirk whispered through grit teeth, “I might have told ONE person. It was Tavros though. I told him not to tell anyone so it was fine. I mean, he only knows Jake and Jake already would have known anyway.” John’s brows furrowed. “It was Tavros! I’m sure no one else knows. They would have said something.”  
John took a deep breath in. Dirk put his arm around John’s shoulder. “It’ll be alright.” 

Dave and Karkat walked towards them and John knocked Dirk’s arm off his shoulder. Dave waved and Karkat said, “It’s about fucking time! You fucking dipshit fucks haven’t said hello to me in fucking ages you selfish assholes!” Karkat caught John by surprise by hugging him. He went up to Dirk and seemed to be sparing Dirk from a hug by instead shaking his hand, “Hello, Dave’s brother...Dick?” 

“Dirk.” 

“No, last time I checked it was Dick because you haven’t hung out with us in months.” Halfway through their handshake Karkat turned it into a hug. Dave shook their hands. He gave John a half hug with a pat on the back. John awkwardly patted Dave’s back too. 

“Have you guys been doing well?” Dave casually put his hands in his God Tier pants pockets. Karkat slightly leaned on Dave but not enough for others to notice. Or he hoped no one would notice. 

“Yeah, we’ve been doing okay. Having fun. Almost even appreciating things. Almost.” 

“What? Like your friends?” Karkat said bitterly. 

“Karkat don’t take it personally I didn’t talk to anyone, not just you.” 

“You were talking to Dirk. For the past few months.” 

“Yeah and just Dirk.” 

“Yeah? What’s so special about him why couldn’t you hang out with any of the rest of your fucking friends? You hang out with this weeb instead?” 

Dave stopped him from continuing on, “He was just worried, I guess. Or he gives two fucks where he shouldn’t. I don’t know, maybe he’s jealous because he actually wants to spend time with you for whatever fucking reason.” 

“Hey! I just occasionally give a flying fuck about a person and you do this to me?” Karkat fake slapped Dave’s shoulder as Dave laughed.

“Karkat stop being a selfish asshole who wants to steal all of time to spend with people.” 

“Aren’t you the fucking goddamn knight of time? Can’t you fucking make it so I could do that?” 

“No because you’d spend it all watching rom-coms with me.” Karkat blushed. “This dude right here made me watch romcoms with him for a week straight not even that long ago. He just kept on putting them in. My leg was falling asleep and I couldn’t move because this lug was determined on getting through Troll 50 First Dates.” Karkat was trying to shush him but that only encouraged Dave. “I’m sure I only moved once from that couch when I convinced you we needed popcorn for the occasion.” Dave was giggling as Karkat tried to shut him up. 

Dirk smiled and John nervously laughed. Dave and Karkat blushed and stopped talking. “So, uh, anything else going on?” Dave asked. John’s breaths got short. Then they heard a bell. It was Kanaya. 

“The tea is ready! Everyone should sit down at the table after picking a teacup from our collection. Please do not break them. That would be unnecessary and in some cases insidious. Then you can choose from the tea of your choice, well, from the ones provided. Rose and I have “dibs” as you’d say, on the rosemary tea. And Rose has it on the rose tea. Of course. I mean, it was named after her. Not that any rose can match her beauty,” Kanaya held Roses hand and kissed it for a second. 

“Oh, shush, Kanaya, no need to become a flatterer. You sound like one of those old poets from Earth whose attempts at swooning women were as well met as their death as virgins would entail.” 

“It’s because they tried to flatter such ethereal beauties as you, and no man could ever accomplish that. It would only work on Karkat.” She chuckled as Karkat blushed.

“I have no idea what they’re saying but I have a feeling I’m the one they’re making fun of,” Karkat whispered to Dave. Dave shrugged and found the teacup that’s red with black vines. Karkat found one that was black with red vines. Rose and Kanaya already had their teacups set up at the head of the table. 

Jake found one with blue and green flowers, “I sure do hope they have Earl Grey, don’t you Tavvy?”

“I uh, like peppermint better actually,” he grabbed the only one with fairies.

“Well, that’s too bad they only have peppermint in the holiday season, it’s tradition.” 

“Who the fuck here gives a shit about tradition all they uh have to fucking do is add some peppermint to some boiling water? Uhh, is it really that hard?” Jade walked up behind them. Jake hugged Jade and Jade waved at Tavros. 

“Uh, sorry about that one time,” said Tavros. 

“What time?” asked Jade.

“When I, when I, you know?” Tavros did gun motions. 

“Oh! Tavros, that was years ago.” Jade looked at Jake and realized how awkward this was. 

“What? What are you guys talking about? Are you talking about me?” They shake their heads quickly. Jade grabs a teacup with colorful flowers. Jade then turned when she heard someone enter. They all turned at the door. It opened and quickly shut and they heard the sound of air horns. It was Davepetasprite^2 blaring air horns.  
“Meows up dudes? Sorry I’m extra late this time. Not that I’ve shown up to one of these in years. Or at all.” 

“Davepetasprite!” Jade ran over and hugged them. 

John whispered, “What happened to Dave? I mean Davesprite?” 

“Did you not hear dude? He got fused with Nepeta like a super long time ago Jade and Jasprose told us about it. Kind of convenient they showed up just now. I wasn’t even sure if...they would still...exist?” Jade was crying on Davepeta. 

Rose got up and said hello, “You showed up just in time, my wife is still getting the tea out.” Rose looked for a chair and realized Davepeta is a sprite so she just moved enough space to put a dining mat on next to Jade. Davepeta took a teacup with orange flowers on it after calming down Jade and giving her a kiss on the forehead. 

They all sat down except for Dirk and John, who still had to choose tea cups. “Maybe with Davesprite showing up my news won’t even hit them.”

“Yeah, then I can finally kiss you,” Dirk murmured into John’s ear. John blushed and giggled. 

“Stop, Dirk, they’re looking at us.” John looked around for a tea cup he would like, then found one with bunnies. Dirk looked around for his own and found an orange one with a gold rim. They sat down next to each other. Dave and Karkat sat next to them, Davepeta and Jade at the end, Jake, Tavros, Calliope, Roxy and Jane on the other side and Rose and Kanaya at the front. 

They passed the tea pots around so they could have the tea they wanted. John noticed Jane had made the brownies and lemon bars in the middle and John, Dirk, Dave, Jade and Jake were fighting over them. Calliope complimented the dragon teapot Kanaya had put the jade tea in. Roxy grabbed the last brownie when none of the other people were looking even though they had more at home. Karkat burnt his tongue every time he got new tea and yelled about it. Dave would do the same thing but didn’t say anything. Davepeta would also do the same thing but hissed when they burnt their tongue. Jade hugged Davepeta every time they did it, so it only encouraged them. Calliope would slurp up her tea, making Jane giggle. Jake kept on trying to get Tavros to have Earl Grey. Rose and Kanaya elegantly sipped their tea as Rose slyly grabbed the last lemon bar. Kanaya broke off one half and said it was because they were married. 

They were all having a good time, even John, who was still anxious. Dirk could feel it and nudged him. Dave and Karkat were talkative but not with each other, while Jade was hugging Davepeta. Tavros was obviously flirting with Jake, or it seemed obvious, while Jake remained under the constant assumption they were only friendly remarks. Jane, Roxy, and Calliope were in a constant state of flirtation and Rose was leaning on Kanaya. 

“Uh,” John said quietly. Dirk nudged him again. “Hey!” They all turned to look at him. “So you know how technically it was my idea to have this party?” They nodded. “Well, I, Dirk and I, I mean, have an announcement to make. Well, first me. Yeah.” He waited for them to say something but it remained silent. John’s heart battered against his chest. Dirk’s breath was shaky. He held John’s hand under the table. “I’m...I am...I’m,” He couldn’t look them in the eye. He closed his eyes. “I’m gay.” 

They all let out breaths of relief. Rose held John’s hand, “I’m glad you were able to find yourself.” 

Roxy laughed and said, “Honestly who isn’t?” as she kissed Calliope. So did Jane. 

Jade was smiling, “Aw, John, how long have you known? I hope you weren’t feeling anxious to tell us. We all love you.” 

“Especially now that we know for sure you’re “gay” as humans put it,” Kanaya joked. 

Jake laughed, “Glad you told us directly instead of...through another sprite I mean person.” Tavros rolled his eyes. 

Karkat poked Dave. “Gay means homosexual right?” Dave nodded. Karkat poked John. “Hey, why the FUCK did you lie to me?” 

John was intimidated by it at first, not fully prepared for all the positivity mixed with Karkat’s expected reaction. 

“Just because you’re bitter about him not accepting your flirtations that one time like 10 fucking years ago doesn’t mean you gotta be weird about it,” said Dirk.

Karkat blushed and leaned on Dave. “I guess you have a fucking point.” 

Dave breathed in, “Congratulations on figuring yourself out man. It’s tough. I had a hard time figuring out I was in love with Karkat. Can’t believe watching dumbass rom-coms was part of my path to eternal happiness, weird huh? The exact thing you’d think would lead into the opposite direction somehow leads to, well, yeah, the opposite. How long have you known?” 

“Uh…” 

“It’s okay if you don’t know. I didn’t know till after Karkat and all that. Karkat. Karkat of all people is the love of my life. I love Karkat.” 

“Babe you’re rambling again.” Dave blushed. Karkat laughed, “See, that’s the only way to get him to shut the fuck up is to call him babe. Therefore I’m the only one who can shut him up.” Karkat kissed Dave on the cheek.

“Actually, there was another part of that announcement. So, um, well…” John scratched the back of his head. “I want you all to know...all to know…” Dirk squeezed John’s hand. He moved his chair closer to John’s and locked eyes with him after taking off his glasses. As everyone started to dissolve into side conversations again, Dirk put a hand in John’s hair and their lips gently met. Roxy and Jane gasped. Jade said aw. Rose and Kanaya giggled. Jake and Tavros weren’t surprised and continued on their conversation. Dave’s face stretched in surprise and Karkat’s did too. Dave had been leaning back in his chair and he fell. John and Dirk broke apart.

“You alright bro?” asked Dirk. 

“What’s, what’s going on?” asked Dave.

“I was going to say that next. I’m dating Dirk. I’ve been dating Dirk.” 

“How long?” 

John shrugged, “Months.” 

“Aw, I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell us sooner,” apologized Jade. 

“It’s okay, I’m feeling a lot better about it all now,” John smiled. Dirk smiled too. Dave’s eyes widened again because he was not used to Dirk smiling. Neither was Jake, who spat out his tea. 

Dave got up, “Can we all talk about this privately for a second?” John sighed and nodded. He followed Dave and Karkat into a nearby room, Dirk following John one step behind. “So, why did you-” 

“Yes, I did have a crush on you,” John blurted.

“What? Woah, what? That’s not what I was going to ask about but that’s something I would have been curious about I guess. Don’t worry about it. I probably had feelings for you too. That’s in the past.” John nodded. “I was more curious on why my brother and my best friend are dating.” 

Dirk lovingly hugged around John’s hips and leaned on John’s back. “Because you missed out on a hot as fuck bear.” 

“Dirk really helped me out through some tough times and we’ve really gotten to know each other and were compatible, it turns out, also yeah he's a hot...what’s it called?” 

“You can just call me a twink it’s fine.” 

Karkat laughed, “So the weeeeb as Dave calls you, he’s the one who turned you gay?” 

“You don’t turn gay Karkat….oh. Hey. That was awhile ago. I’ve learned not to say things like that anymore. Probably because I’m gay.” He smiled as he said it. It was liberating. 

“I’m glad you’ve come to terms with yourself. And hey, this might be unexpected for me, at least, but I’m happy you two found each other. Even though I can’t say it’s not awkward.” 

“Why? What like when we do this?” Dirk reached up and kissed John on the back of his neck. John giggled. 

“C’mon Dirk let’s go back out.” 

“I’m happy for you two dipshits too. Wait...does this mean you guys are fucking?” asked Karkat. 

“C’mon Dirk let’s go.” Dirk and John held hands as they walked back to their chairs. None of the people at the table were used to seeing Dirk smile for so long. Dave and Karkat sat down soon after them. They started all discussing random topics like everything was normal, but John felt like a weight was lifted off him. Dirk could finally hold onto John’s hand and get lost in his eyes without feeling like John’s world would crash around him. John finally felt like he could hold his hand back and kiss him on the cheek, just like the other couples were. Dave and Karkat felt more comfortable and were soon hugging. 

“I’m kind of glad you’re gay,” said Dave honestly. “Just cause of all those other things you used to say, Karkat and I, I guess subconsciously kind of laid back on the PDA? Or maybe we just always are. But now we know for sure you’re chill. It’s nice.” Dave smiled at them and John smiled back. 

Soon the party was over and they were heading to their homes. They all left holding hands with the people going with them. Jake and Tavros went up to John and Dirk.

“So, where are you headed, pal?” 

“John’s place, like usual. We’re going to celebrate. Right, John?” John nodded. 

“Oh, did you want anyone to join you?” 

“No, I think we’re good.” 

“Oh, good, Tav and I had plans anyway. See you soon Dirk.” Jake and Tavros waved as they left in their direction.

John and Dirk held their hands close together. They put their hoods up as the wind picked up. John changed its direction, but it was still cold. They enjoyed the silence together, listening to the wind, feeling the beats of their own hearts merge together. John sighed, “They still love me. And I get to love you for the rest of eternity. It sure is too much to imagine. Seems too good to be true.” 

“It feels like that to me too. But it isn’t. You deserve it.” 

“We deserve it. After all this chaos, we can finally calm down.” 

They traveled some more. The silence let them think over things. They got to the doorstep of John’s house.

“I love you,” they said at the same time as the looked at each other. They laughed and held each other as the sun finished setting, pitching the land into dark as the two went inside, repeating I love you’s and calling each other pet names, caressing and kissing and watching youtube videos and the muppets, until they finally decided to hit the final base. 

After they finished, Dirk rolled over as John was trying to sleep. “Hey, psst, John.” John opened an eye. 

“Dude, I’m fucking tired.”

Dirk got close to John and his arms over John’s shoulder like he was going to kiss him, but then stuck an earbud into John’s ear. Dirk had the other one in his ear. It was Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen. “You haven’t heard Side B, have you?” 

John hugged around Dirk’s hips and pushed him into his chest. “No, not as much.” He said it as if he didn’t recognize the song he was listening to. 

Dirk nodded, “Neither have I.” As if he didn’t also recognize it. They closed their eyes and kissed one last time, tears in each other’s eyes, and then Dirk put his head on John’s chest. 

“Why are you crying?” asked John. 

“Why are you?” 

“I’m sorry if Carly Rae music gives me feelings.” 

“I’m sorry if you give me feelings. I’m proud of you babe, for coming this far.” 

“I love you for helping me get this far. And I’m proud of you for doing so much too. You had it worse than me you could say, and yet you still helped.” 

Dirk laughed, “I guess I did. I barely remember.”

“Me too. I can barely remember life without you.” 

Dirk breathed in and couldn’t pretend like John’s words weren’t having an effect on him. He started to cry more. “Me too. You’ve helped me so much and I haven’t thanked you enough for it.” Dirk sniffled. John had never seen Dirk cry before. He pet Dirk’s hair and comforted him until Dirk was sighing and kissing John back. They held each other tightly. 

As the last song played on the album, or possibly the first, they weren’t keeping track, their eyes closed and breathing steadied. They finally fell asleep.

They finally felt emotion.


End file.
